“These are the exact same U.S. quarters that you have now in your pocket or purse.” — at least, that’s what you tell them when they come through the gallery or studio door.

Clear your throat, and continue:

“The only difference between your pocket change and my coins is the quality of the coin. Mine have no scratches, no dents, no dings, no stains and no wear and tear.

“You’re looking at the result of hundreds of hours, which is the time I spend finding the good coins, the ones that aren’t worn down or scratched or dented or stained or otherwise made useless for jewelry.

“You can have any grade of coin for spending money, but with jewelry, it has to be perfect, absolutely flawless, like a diamond.

You wait for a moment to get the effect, then continue:

“If you’ll take out your change for a moment and put it on this velvet pad,” (indicating the velvet search pad on the nearby table or countertop) “I’ll show you the difference.”

Do so.

If they exclaim, “Wow!!!” when they see your Perfect Coins, it means that they’re impressed by this display and they’ll probably be willing to buy the jewelry.

You’ve made a sale, but you’ll have to start somewhere, and it might as well be with showing them through your collection of 100 of my Pegboard Perfect coins, meaning that those are what you should be putting out there when YOU’RE doing the search, at that level and grade, and not a whit below that grade.

When you know how, you can search your own.

I plan to get you the skills to do your own thing.

You need some samples as reference points — not photos, but actual coins, and that’s what you’re going to get, samples of the best of the best, personally searched and collected and graded by me.

I take full responsibility for every coin in that collection. Any coin doesn’t meet your expectations, send it back and I’ll give you another one just like it.

In short, the only Business Strike quarters you’ll ever see better than those will come in PCGS slabs, and that’s a fact.

My coins are DNP — Dang Near Perfect.

So I’ve made up a sort of kit as a starter pack for your Coinology Mission — yes, it’s a mission, technically — and there’s a definite plan behind it, to get you the most and the best the fastest, so you can earn enough to handle what’s coming down the pike this year and well into the first half of the 21st century.

Here’s what you’ll get when you send me a $500 box of quarters:

• 100 Brilliant Uncirculated “DNP” Quarters, packaged for fast counter sales.

• 1 Finished DEMO Set — pendant & earrings in sterling silver.

• 4 Ready-for-Use empty sterling silver “Quarter” earring bezels.

• 2 Ready-for-Use empty sterling silver “Quarter” pendant bezels.

• 1 Framed & Wired 16″x20″ Pegboard Display System.

• 20 Retail Style Blunt Rounded “safety first” Metal Pegs.

• 5 FINISHED “Littleton Green” Coin Folders with over 200 high-grade quarters.

• 10 Acrylic Capsules for U.S. Quarters, plenty to make some 3-T Game Pieces.

Don’t forget that whenever you sell a game set with a lot of quarters that you are giving the customer a cash-back REBATE with the purchase, which the customer needs to appreciate when buying the set or any item containing cash money coins.

I’ll bet you’re wondering what “3-T” Games are.

On paper, they’re called “Tic-Tac-Toe”, but when you play on a board with gaming pieces, it’s a totally different and much faster strategy effect.

There are “right” moves and “wrong” moves and it’s all about attention and concentration. The fact is that tic-tac-toe, checkers, chess, backgammon, craps dice, jacks, hopscotch, match game and “flip” are all ancient games that were originally developed to teach young princes how to conduct warfare, if they happened grow up.

Most kids didn’t.

“Strategy Games” call for mental effort and complex considerations, and that’s what makes them brain-trainers and gives them the flavor of profound mental skills development tools, as well as being profound tools for the perfection of multiple attention, something everyone with work aspirations could use.

You’ll find that the coin games are also a great way to acquire memory skills, and “Gorby’s Memory Trainer” which uses 32 quarters to achieve its effect, is the best way ever invented to build memory and expand your mental powers short of plastic brain surgery.

One great game that comes from great antiquity is the tabletop war-game called “chess” — you probably think you know something about it, but you probably don’t know that the Horses stand not for one single individual, but an entire phalanx of cavalry.

The Bishops are units of Republican Guards, and the Castles are rolling towers used to go over the walls of the castle under siege, hence the name, “Siege Towers”.

Of course the Queen is head of her own Guard, and the King stands with his Personal Bodyguard Troopers.

The Pawns? That’d be us. Get ready for hard times.

You might want to make some games.

I have sample games on hand, plus all the stuff you need to make your own with coins that YOU found in your own searches.

It’s easy to create those games, now that we have the box and a variety of liners with which to fill the box. We also have a shipping system that works well with the final product.

Always retro-design a product from the shipping carton backwards, so you KNOW you’ll be able to ship, when the time comes.

It almost doesn’t matter what the product is.

Games will sell. I have the acrylic capsules for all the games — some are larger, some are smaller, with variations in the coin-friendly archival foam rings.

You can order the supplies separately, based on what you actually plan to build with your own searched quarters, and you don’t need to buy very many of them at a time when you get them from me — one or two items is okay, no minimum.

If you do a lot of volume, you have to face a minimum charge per order. You’ll have to buy a lot of stuff at a time to get the wholesale prices, plus you’ll need a resale license.

Don’t forget, you are no longer in Kansas. This is Trumpworld, and that means slaving on the chain gangs to rebuild the infrastructure, unless you have enough cold cash to stay out of the way of the Press Gangs that take people away to the labor camps.

Oh, they’re not open yet, but they’re waiting for occupancy, and that means you.

Make some money, stay free, stay clear, stay clean, stay mobile.

That means trim down, take in the sails, get ready for bad weather — “Red sky at night, sailor’s delight, red sky in morning, sailors take warning.” — a fair assessment of the patterns of Earthian weather systems, if you ask me, and I don’t recall having been asked.

Consider the concept, then get on with it. You’ll have enough in the kit to make some sales and put up a very compelling and effective kiosk or “popup” table at a fair or other event.

That’s enough to get started. Of course, you’ll want a folding table — this you can get online or from K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Best or that sort of package store, for about $70 — you want the folding table, probably a 5-footer, but a 4-foot table will do very well, with enough room for the display case and the mannequin head, if you plan to use both.

You might or might not want a display case. Some folks prefer to lay their stuff right out on the table, and others think that getting ripped off is not okay, so they get a glass-topped locking brushed aluminum jewelry display case with a black French velvet pad. The case alone will cost about $75 from Rio-Grande Jewelry Supply, and the pad will cost about $40 extra.

I didn’t include them in the kit, because you might prefer another display system or none at all.

You can get away with no display system with my Street Peddler’s Kit, which consists of a set of Littleton U.S. Quarters from 1999 to the present, plus a bunch of business cards.

That’s all you need for a street operation.I’ll share with you a few secrets of my own, a few handy items that you might be able to apply to your own coin search:

• SHINY SHINY SHINY! — Well, actually, more than merely “shiny”. What you need to find are the absolutely highest level of Mint State — and they are in there to find, coins without a single mar, scar or bar. I added the “bar” just for the rhyme, ignore it if you can, but probably you’ll continue to wonder.

• UNUSUAL — You’ll keep finding the same shiny quarters over and over again, and they will be the recently-issued coins, so tend to ignore those, unless they are absolutely flawless. Keep an eye out for coins MOSTLY from 1965 to 2009, and you’ll be right.

• LOOK FOR THE ERRORS — Knowing exactly how to spot errors is the whole key to the game — you need to be able to SEE the coin, but you also need to know WHERE to look, and what you’re looking for. I’ll be covering this in workshops.

• DON’T WASTE YOUR RESOURCES — You have only so many flips and only so many acrylic capsules and a very limited number of sterling silver bezels, so make sure you want to commit a coin to that package before you do so.

• HANDLE YOUR COINS RIGHT — Only handle them with dry hands, and on the edge only. If you can manage a coin search in gloves, go right ahead — my hands won’t do it, and yours might not, either. Don’t sweat it. What I mean is, if you’re sweating, don’t handle the coins until your fingers are dry, dry, dry, and NEVER put your thumb or fingertip on the face or reverse of a coin.

• LOOK FOR THE ANOMALIES — Don’t trust what you read in the books — look everywhere for mint errors. There are plenty of them, especially in the more recent coins, as the mint gets progressively sloppier in its quest for lower costs and super-efficiency. No laborers is the ultimate goal.

• IF THE FACE IS GOOD, THE BACK IS GOOD — Check George Washington’s cheek. If there’s a single scritchy-scratch on it, that’s NOT a mint coin, but it IS AU — About Uncirculated — and as such, qualifies for jewelry, because being worn in the raw in an open bezel will surely mean scratches and dings to come, so one microscopic flaw won’t matter, while numismaticlly, it won’t work at all.

• ALWAYS CHECK “IN GOD WE TRUST” — That’s the most common place where an error can occur, particularly a DDO, which is always worth some serious money.

There are a few other tricks of the trade, notably the zig-zag and swirling sway that you’ll use when you master the Coin Search Dance, sort of a seated Tai-Chi workout with twirling coins.

Magic in the Mirror practice will help you immensely in the coin search dance.

You’re looking for several things at once:

• HIGH-GRADE ORDINARY “FLIP ALBUM” — The ordinaries collected for the flip album are strictly for jewelry, charms, amulets, talismans and relics, and generally are bagged into flips right then and there, immediately notating your flip with any pertinent information, NOT TRUSTING TO MEMORY. You will forget what you saw in the coin if you put it aside until later. In the heat of the moment is when you take the moment to carefully and clearly write out the information on the front of the flip.

• GOOD LUCK COINS — These will be Rodneys and other coins considered lucky, including actual original mint-error coins, such as “OFFSET”, “DDO” and “DDR”, and a number of other interesting and quite rare variations.

• HIGHEST IN REGISTRY — These are coins that you will have graded & slabbed by PCGS. They can range into the high thousands of dollars in market value if they are sufficiently high-grade and clean.

• ODDBALLS — Things you just can’t explain. These are in themselves high levels of improbability, making them ideal candidates as Lucky Coins.

• MODERATE GRADE RODNEYS FOR THE HOMELESS — Make sure to collect any moderate grade Rodneys to give away in capsules. It does no good to give them away if the recipient throws it into a vending machine, so be sure to explain how to use them. Make sure they understand that it could change their luck, but don’t spend it — keep it safe and keep it secret.

That’s the whole deal, although the marketing covers a great deal more territory. You’ll need a good rap to sell these, something like:

“Do you believe in luck?”

If they say yes, show them the coin in its package, and the brochure. Read a couple of quick lines to them, and hand the brochure over. Wait patiently until the person is through reading, and then immediately continue with, “I’m selling them to support my giveaway of free lucky coins to the homeless.”

“Each Lucky Coin I give away has instructions printed in color so they are easily understood. With the packaging and the cost of driving into town and back, the cost works out to about three dollars each.”

“I have to sell one to give away three. I’m only asking $3 for the regular Lucky Rodney in a capsule, $10 for the high-grade Lucky Rodney in a capsule and $39.95 for the highest grade Lucky Rodney in a solid .925 sterling silver locket with an extra-wide bail loop for easy hanging from any chain — the chain is not included. How many would you like? You might think of this as a stocking stuffer, but you can save money by ordering it early — don’t wait until the big rush — what a great present — better luck!!!”

Of course, you might have your own brand of sales pitch. I personally like to say something like:

“Hi. Do you believe in luck?”

“Um, yeh, sure I do.”

“I have something ten times better than a rabbit’s foot, and it doesn’t cost an animal its life to make it. It’s not just a lucky coin, it’s the luckiest coin in the world, called the Lucky Rodney. In fact, I’m wearing it right now. This is the Lucky Rodney. I’m selling them in a sterling silver locket for only $39.95.”

“I really don’t wear jewelry.”

“Oh, no problem. I have the Lucky Rodney in a Pocket Charm for only $10 bucks. How many would you like?”

Be brave, be bold, be cheerful. Another approach might be:

“Can you help me out? I have no job, no home, no car, no family, no friends, no food, no money and no hope. All I have in the whole wide world is this gun.”

Old radio gag from Jack Benny days. Radio? It was kinda like a cellphone without the video screen.

You made a radio back in the sixth century, they took you out and tarred and feathered you and ran you out of town. Today, they do the same thing if you make a transdimensional device, even the most harmless.

I’ve hidden my scout craft fairly well, actually in orbit just behind a cluster of space junk, and I suggest you do the same.

Once you have a flip album, you can offer those self-same coins to your customer — what they see is what they get. Take the coin out of the flip and install it in an acrylic capsule for them, or mount it in a silver bezel and help them get it onto a chain, if they have one.